While I'm away on vacation over the holidays, I've invited a couple friends to contribute to the site. Jason is up first - so while I dine on some turkey next week, please enjoy the stylings of Jason:
"Mom's exhausted and told me to keep you posted on dad's stool. After a bunch of false alarms, dad sat down and first just farted a lot, but then a little spatter came out. He waited, then thought he was done, but when he stood up he realized he had to go again. When he sat down, thick frothy streams of light brown diarrhea came out. Dad yelled at mom when she asked if he was peeing.
"Later on, during "The View," dad farted in bed a few times and then was surprised when the last fart brought a little something with it. Mom said it looked like motor oil leaking out of him. While she cleaned, he groaned in agony as his stool came out - with a consistency like chunky soup,beef stew or chili. Mom said it just kept coming out for like twenty minutes, then he just yelled her name. When She got in, he looked wrecked, his brow and hair soaked with sweat, and he needed her help to stand and wipe. Mom said it smelled like hot garbage and old broccoli. His farts smell like B.O. And tuna fish.
I'll keep you guys posted as she updates me!"
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